Let’s just take a second.

Rage doesn’t begin to cover it.  Terror, fear.  But more than anything, despair.  I have a little PTSD coming in, memories of gaslighting from not one, but two past lovers.  Memories of a man who made me feel worthless; who critiqued my stomach during intimate moments and said “You’ll have to work out later” when I ate scrambled eggs late one night, and then resented me when I lost weight faster than him.  Who always, relentlessly, talked about himself, and then looked around in wonder when anyone expected a thing different. The despair, however, does not come from these memories. … Continue reading Let’s just take a second.

There is no man behind the curtain.

I’ve been busy with the start of the school year and a second job, and have also been more open with some of my thoughts on ye old Twitter.  For the first time, I’ve broken my silence on some conservative Republican issues, but only because Trump is so abhorrent and the hypocrisy so flaming and obvious that any fear I may have had at defying my family has ceased.  If decent people who believe in small government can’t see that this guy is a wacko, it’s no longer my job to please them. Except that my protests aren’t enough, so … Continue reading There is no man behind the curtain.

#Tonedeaf: on #blacklivesmatter & #LGBTI rights

On my fascinating little journey, which actually makes a lot of sense when you consider even my childhood’s obsession with human rights (aka before I escaped the bowels of Christianity, otherwise known as evangelicalism and/or the Southern Baptist culture), I have learned a lot about what NOT to say. Being cursed with the gift of empathy in nearly any context, I have learned to listen to people’s experiences with almost no judgment (unless you’re a prospective romantic partner, in which case you’re screwed.  But we are working on that). Given that an actual VIDEO OF A MAN BEING SHOT TO THE … Continue reading #Tonedeaf: on #blacklivesmatter & #LGBTI rights

Buh-bye, Fundamentalism.

I got this email earlier, from a more progressive Christian site that dares to engage with culture, and is popularly loathed as a result.  And I laughed.  Because there, in black and white, is naked evidence of the absolute paralysis that results from trying to adhere to evangelical Christianity while being … well, alive. Relevant may be considered anathema to true fundamentalists, but it still employs a sly allegiance to evangelicalism, fundamentalism’s kid brother*.  When I have more time, I’ll add links, but I have read articles over the years that essentially deny universalism; dare to suggest that drinking alcohol is … Continue reading Buh-bye, Fundamentalism.

“Try,” Part 2: In Which I Try to Explain Why I’m Not Such a Bad Person

I woke up today feeling bad, like I went to bed with a “10” blog post and woke up with a “2” (yup, I just quoted Katy Perry). It seems especially snarky to take aim at a blasé-but-nice song, especially by quoting the relative benefits of the things Caillat disses, when there are so many greater evils in the world. Rather, I think I should have focused on the more insidious side I mentioned at the end: lumping in grown-ass women with adolescent teens experiencing their first flush of hormones, or not experiencing them soon enough, in a world that … Continue reading “Try,” Part 2: In Which I Try to Explain Why I’m Not Such a Bad Person

On patronizing bullsh*t. OR: It’s my body, I’ll make it look good if I want to

Remember “Try” by Colbie Caillat? This super-empowering song has been adorning the airwaves for a year now, but I have a beef with it. Kind of like John Mayer’s “Daughters,” it gets stuck in your head and sounds vaguely kind until you stop and pay attention. The funny thing is that I’m usually, or at least used to be, attracted to songs based on the lyrics. Still, for whatever reason, it took me a few rounds this time to notice. Important note: the lyrics are incredibly appropriate for twelve-year-olds. If you are stuck in a sixth-grade mentality about life, then … Continue reading On patronizing bullsh*t. OR: It’s my body, I’ll make it look good if I want to

On Narcissism, Sociopaths and Gone Girl

Last night, I finally watched the film based on the best-selling novel. I’d heard enough horror stories about the dark content of the tale to actually be underwhelmed, but felt the whole thing delightfully disturbing. Kind of like the ending of a Criminal Minds episode from this past season, when (spoiler alert!) a Manchurian Candidate kind of guy goes to his psycho mom for advice after she tries to kill his wife. Or, you know, like the two years I was married, except not as delightful, more disturbing, and generally hellacious (of course, my former partner didn’t kill anyone. Just … Continue reading On Narcissism, Sociopaths and Gone Girl

On beautiful and ignorant people

This morning as I left the subway station around 9:30 (because my job is awesome), I saw one of those stunning women like from the movies–the ones you don’t think can exist in real life.  She was around 5 feet 10, stunningly slim but still curvy, and had a bright red sheath dress on with black heels and sunglasses.  As she gazed about, looking alert, checking her phone every few seconds, she looked exactly like one of those women in the Bond films, save for one thing: the time.  Very few cocktail parties run by ruthless terrorists occur at 10 … Continue reading On beautiful and ignorant people