To all Christians defending “traditional marriage” and “the faith” and the “old, godly America”

The reasons that Christians are giving against gay marriage on Facebook are bullshit. I am also too much of a coward to trigger a debate ON Facebook about this. I am “coming out” in terms of my support for gay marriage and increasingly liberal views slowly, one in-person conversation at a time. Days like today, however, break my heart, so I’m going to take my sarcastic bent and hope that someday in the future, I can say these things to the people who post messages on Facebook about how they will follow God, even if no one else will; and … Continue reading To all Christians defending “traditional marriage” and “the faith” and the “old, godly America”

A deep and unseated pain.

When I was sixteen, I was struck by Psalm 12:5 one day as I was reading: “Because of the devastation of the afflicted, because of the groaning of the needy, Now I will arise,” says the Lord; “I will set him in the safety for which he longs.” I felt a powerful connection to this verse and felt an almost visceral conviction that this was what I needed to do with my life.  To be honest, I actually thought I heard a voice say “in my spirit” (in my head), “I will use you to do this,” but however nutty … Continue reading A deep and unseated pain.

Men are stupid.* Love is a b*tch. And I might be one, too.

* Some of them.  I also have some very nice, smart friends and family members who are male. This post is not about them. A couple of weekends ago, I was able to meet up with someone new to Beijing, a friend of a friend who is starting a really cool business here. He is 25, several years younger than me, and the whole talk reminded me how dumb we are in our mid-twenties. It turns out that this very nice young man had fallen in love with a friend of a friend, formed a long-distance relationship, and just met … Continue reading Men are stupid.* Love is a b*tch. And I might be one, too.

(Some) Christians be spies.

Imposter [emo poem to read before the actual prose, if you’re inclined] She’s gorgeous, first: bright lips, silk hair, slim face Articulate, with an accent to boot Borne from some world apart from U.S. trace She captivates with every salted word But I—plain-spoken by her silven voice— Withdraw from her still-patronizing gaze Her words are subtle, but I know their tone She tries to make converts of our mixed realm And I, who have removed myself from there, Feel like a person privy to a spy False seed; discomfiting knowledge; and sad; I cannot think of any word but “bad” … Continue reading (Some) Christians be spies.

“Try,” Part 2: In Which I Try to Explain Why I’m Not Such a Bad Person

I woke up today feeling bad, like I went to bed with a “10” blog post and woke up with a “2” (yup, I just quoted Katy Perry). It seems especially snarky to take aim at a blasé-but-nice song, especially by quoting the relative benefits of the things Caillat disses, when there are so many greater evils in the world. Rather, I think I should have focused on the more insidious side I mentioned at the end: lumping in grown-ass women with adolescent teens experiencing their first flush of hormones, or not experiencing them soon enough, in a world that … Continue reading “Try,” Part 2: In Which I Try to Explain Why I’m Not Such a Bad Person

On patronizing bullsh*t. OR: It’s my body, I’ll make it look good if I want to

Remember “Try” by Colbie Caillat? This super-empowering song has been adorning the airwaves for a year now, but I have a beef with it. Kind of like John Mayer’s “Daughters,” it gets stuck in your head and sounds vaguely kind until you stop and pay attention. The funny thing is that I’m usually, or at least used to be, attracted to songs based on the lyrics. Still, for whatever reason, it took me a few rounds this time to notice. Important note: the lyrics are incredibly appropriate for twelve-year-olds. If you are stuck in a sixth-grade mentality about life, then … Continue reading On patronizing bullsh*t. OR: It’s my body, I’ll make it look good if I want to

On Narcissism, Sociopaths and Gone Girl

Last night, I finally watched the film based on the best-selling novel. I’d heard enough horror stories about the dark content of the tale to actually be underwhelmed, but felt the whole thing delightfully disturbing. Kind of like the ending of a Criminal Minds episode from this past season, when (spoiler alert!) a Manchurian Candidate kind of guy goes to his psycho mom for advice after she tries to kill his wife. Or, you know, like the two years I was married, except not as delightful, more disturbing, and generally hellacious (of course, my former partner didn’t kill anyone. Just … Continue reading On Narcissism, Sociopaths and Gone Girl

Instant Gratification & Sh**tastic Food

Beijing is not a good place for a person with poor impulse control. To be exact, it is not a good place for a foreigner with said problem, as most students and people my age live with family and observe social morays like women not drinking much (if ever), and, you know, sharing their food. For spoiled laowai like myself, kind of like Vegas—where I lived before—it’s host to a wealth of conveniences that can kill a girl, or at least add weight and sloth to her frame. At least in Vegas, you had to get in your car and … Continue reading Instant Gratification & Sh**tastic Food

Doing Violence to My Body

I currently have a horrible migraine, and I know why. I know my body like the back of my hand—oh, wait—and usually, the trigger is so clear I can see the pain coming; or, once the pain comes, I can instantly pinpoint what started it. I became “pre-migraine” twice in as many days when uninvited guests “popped” into my room when I was in the middle of writing. Do you know how hard it is to pull your brain out of whatever morass is consuming you to interact with another human being? Especially when—infuriatingly—these grown adults at my job who … Continue reading Doing Violence to My Body

On beautiful and ignorant people

This morning as I left the subway station around 9:30 (because my job is awesome), I saw one of those stunning women like from the movies–the ones you don’t think can exist in real life.  She was around 5 feet 10, stunningly slim but still curvy, and had a bright red sheath dress on with black heels and sunglasses.  As she gazed about, looking alert, checking her phone every few seconds, she looked exactly like one of those women in the Bond films, save for one thing: the time.  Very few cocktail parties run by ruthless terrorists occur at 10 … Continue reading On beautiful and ignorant people